A friend remarked she was impressed I was able to stay calm under the abuse slung my way. I have a secret.
I’m Often Very Angry
I’m not calm. I’m often quite irate and I froth and I rant. Some of my friends hear those rants. The complaints about how can people be that myopic and obtuse run rampant. I also do on occasion see red and feel my blood pressure rise and I want to reply to people so angrily.
I really do. I want to scream and use all caps to emphasize that lying to people, trying to trick them, or otherwise doing bad things makes them bad people. I really want to shake some people to make them see they’re hurting themselves more than anything else. Some people I want to take their computers away because clearly they’re too immature for even free plugin hosting.
That’s My Secret
If you saw the movie The Avengers, then you may recall a moment when Bruce Banner said he controlled the Hulk by always being angry.
The trick of that is its simplicity. You see, if Banner could only control the Hulk by not getting angry, then he’d lose. But by accepting his anger and being always angry at the state of the world, at his situation, and so on, he doesn’t have to control the anger anymore. He has to control his temper. That is, he controls his response to anger, but he allows the anger to happen.
It’s Okay To Be Angry
We all get angry. We see people doing stupid things and we get mad. But we have a choice in how we respond and react to those things. You can’t stop yourself from being angry, but you can stop yourself from being an uncontrolled Hulk when you’re angry.
Seeing people not care about others gets me madder than anything else. Be it cutting in line, stealing, abuse, or the government. Or, yes, plugins. I get pissed off. I find that lack of humanity, lack of humanitarianism, to be appalling and disgusting.
But I don’t lash out and hurt people (at least not intentionally) when it happens. I try to educate, to discuss, and to communicate.
We Have A Choice
We usually have a choice on how we react. There are, of course, situations where we are not in control of ourselves, where we react before we can control. Trauma triggers cause that in many of us. But where and when we do have a choice, we must remember our humanity. We must chose control.