When I was new on the interwebs, people told me things like “Don’t bump your posts” or “Don’t nag people.” I took those lessons to heart, and even though this new online message board thing was awesome and addictive and a great way to talk to people all the time, it introduced us to a new/old problem of instantaneous gratification.
While the world is a 24/7 place, and people are working around the clock to make cool things, it’s really hard for people to understand what being ‘polite’ means in these instant times. But I get poked on email, then in a Slack chat, then on Twitter, then on Facebook (where few people can access me at all), and even G+ when someone decides they need to get in touch with me ASAFP.
Since the Core Rules of The Net have been lost on many of us, here are some rules for you:
Respect Downtime
Every time you ping someone more than once in three days about the same thing, you’re probably hitting them on their downtime. People need breaks. Just because I’m active on Twitter, talking about comic books or music, doesn’t mean I’m available to talk about debugging your website.
Respect “No”
If someone tells you “Not right now.” or “Please ask someone else.” there is only one, proper, reply. “Okay, sorry about bugging you.” And you walk away. (You can ask “Sorry, who else can I ask?” of course if you really don’t know, but people bugging me actually do know if they think for a moment.)
Respect Priority
I got news for ya. You’re not my priority. Oh I do understand the importance of you and your work and that it’s very much on your radar. But you’re not always at the top of mine. I have to make my priorities in my own order and sometimes I can’t tell you about them. It’s never a case of being dismissive, it’s always a case of having a lot to do and having to sort things in an order than I can maintain. It really sucks when you’re not the priority, but it’s the world we live in.
Respect BRB/Later
Sometimes I’ll be working with someone in chat and my wife will ask me a question that need a now answer. Or she’ll want to go out. And if we’re not working on a ‘save the world’ thing, I will likely say “I need to go take care of my personal life. Can we pick this up at another time?” I will work out when that other time is, but people should respect that space. Similarly, if I type “Hang on, I have to deal with a thing.” then maybe I’m talking about a bathroom visit, or maybe my cat lit the other cat on fire. Either way, someone taking a long time to reply is not cause to have hurt feelings. We need to have time to think, time to process, and time to put the fire out on the cat.
Respect ME
Look. This should go without saying, but respect me. Respect what I say to you and when and where I say it. Respect me as a human and as you would want to be treated. If I say “Stop being so pushy, you’re not making it easier for me to do XYZ” then stop being Gordon effing Ramsey and give me a moment. If I ask you not to communicate with me about something on a specific channel (like asking me long WP questions on Twitter) then respect that. It’s totally okay to ask me “Where can I ask you for help with…?” but it’s not okay to assume that I’m going to want to be all WordPress all the time everywhere.
I happen to like other things and so do you.
Comments
One response to “Rant: We’ve Forgotten Nettiquette”
That bear photo! 🙂