“Your email overwhelmed me! I can’t do this!”
That’s what the email reply I got was. It had started innocently enough. Someone asked how to set up Multisite. I linked them to the article and sent them a free copy of my ebook WordPress Multisite 101.
He emailed back asking again how to to it and I replied that he needed to read the link and the ebook and, if he had a specific question, to ask, but otherwise, those two items were what I could do for him at the time. He wasn’t a customer, a client, or even a friend. He was barely a friend of a friend of a friend. There was no social contract or legal one. He was basically someone who asked a question.
Seven emails later and a very angry chain, he finally explained that he had already activated Multisite, before the initial emails, and it was broken. He could no longer log in and, damn it, he didn’t actually WANT multisite. So I explained he needed to un-do Multisite, showed him where (in the ebook, and via a link) he could get directions on that.
And that overwhelmed him.
Now at this point, my friend who introduced him to me apologized and said he’d explain to the guy what ‘taking advantage of someone’s kindness’ meant.
While I do feel sad that I overwhelmed someone and that he was in over his head, I don’t feel any guilt for not providing hands on help like that. There’s a limit to how much ‘freebie’ you can throw out into the world, and this fellow was not being very clear about what his actual situation was. If it had started with “I accidentally set up Multisite. How do I undo it?” I would have given him a quick set of directions with a note of “If editing the DB is too complicated for you, you’ll need to hire someone.”
There is no shame in hiring someone when you’re overwhelmed.
When you’re in over your head, you will make bad assumptions, get lost, and make expensive mistakes. If you think someone is expensive before you start your own demolition and plumbing, imagine how much the cost will be when they have to fix what you did to yourself? Websites are pretty much the same way. It’s the nature of the service industry really. You’re trying to perform a service on your own instead of paying an expert. If you get it right, awesome, you’ve learned new things and have a new skill! If not, you pay more.
But that’s actually why I think it’s okay to overwhelm someone sometimes. When you give them a large amount of data, if they’re willing to learn and concentrate, then they can learn not only about a process but about themselves. The issue isn’t the data dump but how we react to it.
When you’re overwhelmed, and believe me I’ve been there too, you have to take the elephant one bite at a time. You didn’t know how to drive a car perfectly the first time you sat in one. You couldn’t ride a bike from day one. You won’t be able to do anything 100% correctly out of the gate unless you’re a savant. Most of us aren’t.
Perfection is the enemy of progress, though. If we all wait until we’re perfect, we’ll never get anywhere.
It’s alright to be overwhelmed. It’s not alright (though certainly understandable) to let that prevent you from making progress.
Be overwhelmed. At if, in that moment, you learn one thing, then you’ve made progress.
