also i’d like you to either never submit pull requests again or at least try to not put harmful code in them
That was what a developer said when I made a derp pull request, adding in a check for 0 that should have been better as a check for not -1.
Regardless of the fact that he and I fundamentally disagree on the usefulness of the code (and frankly, that’s why I assumed he’d be punting my pull request), his reply is something I’m very glad I got now and not 10 years ago.
Like pretty much everyone on the planet, I have moments where I wonder if you’re all going to figure out that I don’t know a damn thing and I’ve been faking it all these years. It’s Imposter Syndrome, and we all suffer from it to a degree. And it’s comments like that developer made that reinforce it.
Now, I know this guy’s history. And I know at first glance his reply may seem terse but not all that bad. Sadly, this is probably the nicest I’ve ever seem him tell someone they sucked. He’s not nice. At all. His support forums are filled with him calling people demeaning names, or saying they’re stupid for not understanding his code, and frankly on the list of humans I would willingly interact with for fun, he’s not there. He’s not even on the reserves. But I still respect his code (though not his documentation, inline or otherwise) and I use it every day. I won’t be contributing to it anymore because I don’t have any need to be in an abusive relationship.
And that’s what this is! He’s abusive and behavior I don’t care for and wether he means it or not, he’s being mean. It feels silly and petty to put it that way, but that’s what it is. He’s a mean person. I don’t care that he’s mean, and it didn’t actually hurt my feelings though it did make me momentarily angry at him, but I do care that meanness like that will convince someone to stop and never get better at things. Did it hurt my feelings? Yes, it did. It sucks to be told your code sucks, but it sucks more to be told in a way that makes you feel like you’ll never be good enough in any way, which is precisely what many people will read from that comment.
When you ask me “Where does Imposter Syndrome come from?” I say “People like that.” People who reinforce the belief that you’re not good enough, that you’re crap and don’t deserve their time to learn better, and you can go eff yourself.
Is he required to be nice and handhold me through the code and explain why? Hell no! But he made an open source product which he opened to the public, put on GitHub, and allowed for pull requests. He’s naive to think everyone will come to his product knowing everything, and I suspect part of his attitude issue is because he doesn’t want to help people. Which again, is fine. Obviously I don’t feel the same way, but I also don’t think everyone can be good at support. I do think that if you’ve got all this in the open, you’re going to get people who are far less experienced than you are. How you treat them will set the standard for what kind of help you get from your community in the future.
Let’s contrast this. I was talking to people about a change in some laws recently and fiddling with an add on to code I use because of it. When I reached a point at which the code worked, I put it on Github and said “Pull requests and fixes welcome!” I knew the code wasn’t good enough. I knew I wasn’t sanitizing everything yet, some of it was terribly inefficient, and some of it was bad code. I knew this. I knew it wasn’t perfect at all, but I put it up and then pinged a developer for the product I was using. His reply?
mind if I fork that and we distribute it either on [our] site or in (pending yet another round of core team discussion) in core?
Boom. He knew it wasn’t perfect. He saw the value in the attempt and proof of concept, and he ran with it. Naturally I told him to use and enjoy, because I’d licensed it GPL. He also said he’d try and do a pull request to make it so when you used the code, it stopped you from picking the wrong thing. That was something I’ve yet to sort out, even though I’ve been playing with the code some more. I’m learning something new. I’ve never written for that code project before (except a typo fix). This is all new for me.
The difference is pretty bold. One guy pretty much insulted me, one encouraged. The insult, justified or not, discouraged me from wanting to pitch other suggestions or improvements. The encouragement is making me think about an offer they made a while ago more seriously. It also inspired me to sit and study the code, read what it did and why (seriously awesome inline documentation there), and be able to go from zero to add-on in 4 hours while prepping for a holiday dinner.
How you represent yourself, as a developer, creates your community. How you treat others can help or hinder their entire lives. You may not think about your words as having that much power because you’re just someone who helps in a support forum, or you wrote a simple two line plugin, or you translated a file, but they do. Your words matter a lot.
As for the people reading this who don’t code well either, don’t be afraid to code badly. You can’t know it all from the beginning and don’t let people get you down about that. Tell them you’re learning, that you’re trying to be bold and step out, and you won’t get any better in a vacuum. Some of us have to learn by doing, after all. We can’t all read the code and know the answers, and that’s okay.
By the way, yes I’m still using the code from the other guy. I’ve forked it (and now I get to learn about syncing your fork back with master changes) and I’m keeping my one change in there. I’m sure there’s another fix, with a filter perhaps, but given the lack of documentation and assistance, I’ll be stuck with this for a while yet. But you know what? That’s actually okay.
I honestly have no hard feelings on a personal level. I’m not obligated to like him or agree with his choices. He’s not obligated to agree with mine. That’s why open source is great. I can fork it and go. But what won’t happen is that I won’t be afraid to make changes, to get things wrong, and to keep learning.
I’m not an imposter. I’m just still learning.
